Musin’ with Susan 7/27/21 – Judging

I wrote this Musin’ a few days ago. I’m not in the same place I was when I wrote it. I shared my feelings with a couple of friends, and that, along with writing this, really did help calm down my anger.

In the meantime I tried to have a conversation with one of my dearest friends who is unvaccinated. It didn’t go well; it’s still a work in progress.

Covid is leaving a lot of destruction in its wake, and it makes me very sad.

“There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone.”

A friend posted this meme, and it made me sigh a big sigh.

I am simply not there.

Right now I’m in Covid Anger Phase 2.

I was angry in phase one, before the vaccine was available and we were all supposed to wear masks and social distance. I worked really hard at calming down and not letting myself notice who didn’t have on masks in public places and who wasn’t social distancing and who seemed not to be following CDC guidelines.

Once the vaccine was available, I worked hard at not judging those I know who didn’t get the vaccine. They all have reasons, and I’ve wanted not to let this get in the way of my relationships.

With Delta raging I now have lost any patience or understanding I worked so hard to get.

I really am very angry at those who won’t get the vaccine. I’m angry that they don’t seem to understand they are being completely and totally selfish, that they are the problem, that they are the reason we can’t get this pandemic under control, that their decision is dangerous to the rest of us.

Tennessee’s fully-vaccinated rate is a whopping 38%. Thirty-eight percent.

I know and care about many of those in the unvaccinated 62%.

Two of my dearest friends aren’t vaccinated. None of my closest neighbors are vaccinated. Three out of three of my alternative health care workers aren’t vaccinated. I went for my annual wellness appointment a couple of weeks ago, and only two people in that doctor’s office were vaccinated (both were the nurse practitioners, so at least the person I saw was vaccinated—and now I’m looking for a new doctor).

My anger about the unvaccinated is a problem for me because I prefer love and compassion over anger and chaotic emotions. It isn’t a problem for anyone else as long as I don’t misdirect it or let it affect my whole attitude.
That’s not true of these unvaccinated people no matter what their reasons are. They are a big problem for ALL of us.

Of all the people I know who aren’t vaccinated, only one seems to have any concern at all about her decision. Not enough to change it, though. All of these people I know made their choice and are content with it.

I know many of their stories. I know their reasons for not getting the Covid vaccine. I think about that, and I don’t care.

I still judge them. I still judge their reasons and believe those reasons aren’t good enough.

That’s not who I want to be or strive to be, but it is who I am right now.

If you’re not vaccinated, I know you have a story, I know you have a reason, I’ve thought about your reason, and I still judge you.

Your decision not to get the Covid vaccine is selfish. Your decision not to help get this pandemic under control is selfish. Your decision is dangerous to every single other person on this planet.

I may still love you, but you are WRONG, DEAD WRONG.